ZigZag - April, 2009

They say time is money. But we also know each moment is precious, so who can really put a price on that? I am interested in how people view time, and how that influences their anxiety levels, their productivity, their ability to be present in the moment, and their sense of having “time on (their) side” or time as an enemy.

One of my best vacations ever was spent driving the length of the state of Arizona, and I vowed to avoid all media input for that period of time. I was not controlled by, and most of the time not even aware of, the clock. I became more aware of the natural rhythms of the earth and of my own body. I became attuned to small sounds around me. I drove with the windows down. I could hear the wind whistling down the canyons and birds having conversations. As the day went by and the angle of the sun changed, the scenery and sky would be repeatedly transformed and it was a real feast for the senses.

That was the best I could do, considering the territory I wanted to cover. But anyone who has taken an extended bike tour or long hikes on vacation knows that you are more present and have much stronger memories of a place when you have slowed your pace down to soak up ITS pace.

There is a Law of Time and Chaos stated by Ray Kurzweil in The Age of Spiritual Machines which is of interest here. He suggests that our subjective experience of time going by is regulated by the relative frequency of our “milestones” or noteworthy experiences, and the “degree of chaos” occurring during that time.

So when you go on a trip, which is a “milestone” experience for most of us, and you are exploring new territory, which increases chaos because it is unfamiliar, the theory would be that time would seem to pass more slowly.

When you return to your familiar life and to your work routines, it would seem that time suddenly moves to warp speed again.

I can certainly remember that summers when I was very young were ENDLESS and so were the long car trips to see our relatives. Some of that was pleasant, of course, and some of it felt like torture. When our Scout troop set a goal 2 ½ years into the future to save money for a trip to Washington, that was truly an eternity to wait.

So Kurzweil would say that young children have lots of the milestones happening, at short intervals, and therefore kid-time is remembered as having a blurry and dream-like nature. Adult-time tends to move more quickly because the intervals between “milestone” events tend to be longer.

One remedy for this would be to make the ordinary events in adult life more extraordinary by looking through a different lens. You could see the people at work, or at home, with a brand new pair of eyes. You could observe the dance that occurs around you without labeling it good or bad, just human. You could find something about each person to be grateful or curious about.

You can magnify your appreciation of your five senses in some way, even if you are in a cubicle with an intrusive neighbor. Choose something from each of your senses that you find uplifting or soothing, make these part of your environment, and tune in to them. Even very brief periods of meditation remind us to slow our internal pace.

You can free yourself in the moment by noticing the richness of the moment, even during very difficult events. When we have this awareness and appreciation of the moment, we begin to live outside of the concerns of time and actually can feel a stronger connection with other people.

When you have tasks that you totally dread, try these steps: (1) speak about it to someone, even if it’s just one sentence; (2) roughly estimate the time it will truly take for you to get it done; (3) close your eyes and actually rehearse doing the steps of getting it done in your imagination (this is especially helpful if there are repetitive tasks involved).

When time seems like an enemy, and there is too much facing you before a deadline, you can still decide to be fully present in the moment, and many times your results will be an amazing surprise. When you relax as if you had all the time in the world, the wisdom and the creative forces deep inside become accessible and can create miracles.

In line with this article, I want to recommend a great new book by Clive Berkman entitled “Creating Empty Bottle Moments” which is about making the meals we share with those we care about into special moments which strengthen our feelings of connection. Clive is an award-winning chef from Houston who has written the compelling story of his life and given us his favorite recipes as well as wisdom about creating new and wonderful memories together even in the simplest of ways.

The Kolbe-A Index ™ is a powerful predictor of a team's success. Also of your personal success when given certain tasks to do. Whether a college student, mid-career, or about to retire, you will be freed by knowing your Kolbe M.O.

Call Dr. Pam to get a free phone consultation. She can be reached at 443-742-6038 or leave a voice mail at 410-995-0760.

Thanks for reading Zigzag. Please forward this Ezine to any friends who may share your interest.

Dr Pam is a psychologist, therapist, and Kolbe™ coach. She can be reached at www.instinctivecoach.com

About time.....