I love paradoxes, probably because I am one of those people who does not need to make a clear-cut judgement about something right away. I usually leave the door open for more information. I do not get that upset when there is conflicting evidence on both sides of an issue. I do find it to be paradoxical that the more information we have at our fingertips (via the Internet and all the other electronic media) the more truly confusing the world seems. There is the illusion (in a free society) that we can tap almost any statistic or data base to form our decisions or opinions. I am intrigued, however, by the vastly different views that people have on what the information means, and also what they think truly matters.

 

The polarities that most of us were taught--good-bad, right-wrong, desirable-undesirable--tend to shape a lot of our thinking. I see a lot of young people ages 5-18. Some of these kids seem to be filled with hopes and dreams. Many of them have survived terrible abuse, neglect, loss and abandonment. The reality base they need is difficult to establish. Some of them try to be "perfect" students, thinking that will ensure their success. Some of them focus their efforts in a single activity or sport, and dream of becoming a professional and/or getting a college scholarship based on their performance. Some of them try to be "low-maintenance" and fly under the radar, staying out of trouble. Many of them feel plugged in mostly to music, games and the Internet social networking sites as their source of teen reality. Some of these young people find it too bewildering to plan a future, or to believe they can actually fly from the nest.

 

What do we, the adults, really see as the reality base needed today by young people? The principles and structure taught in schools can be totally at odds with the versions of reality that are portrayed in music, videos on Youtube, MySpace pages, and violent videogames. News coverage tends to be dramatic, random, and in sound bytes rather than in context. The motto for mainstream media might be "shock 'em, mock 'em, knock 'em". Where is the guidance in that?

 

Long ago when I was in high school the world appeared much more stable, and it seemed that if you followed the formula and played by the rules, that -- generally speaking -- the world would respond in kind, or at least give you a fair shake. Murphy's Law reminds us that our best-laid plans can be derailed and that we should at least have one or more backup plans. This law is even more useful to teach now that the world is much more fickle and even the most "successful" people, companies and governmental bodies can justify pulling out of the commitments they made to individuals and to the general public.

 

Dr. Wayne Dyer's book "The Power of Intention" and other books with similar themes teach us that "what we visualize and think about will manifest" in our lives. Certainly this reminds us that we need a big vision, one that inspires us. We need to feel trusting of ourselves and of each other in our worst moments. Pursuing that vision increases the obstacles we'll have to face, and stepping into the unknown causes us to feel we are in dangerous territory.

 

So should we be teaching our young people self-control, restraint and caution, because the worst will probably happen? Yes. Should we on the other hand be teaching that their lives are a creative process, and that in every crisis is an opportunity? Yes, yes, yes. I think that now, more than ever, BOTH THINGS ARE TRUE. Be prepared for the worst, but realize that attitude matters, and stay awake and aware of opportunity in any situation.

 

Should we be teaching critical thinking skills and decision making? No question. Are we doing that? Rarely, I think. Because the electronic media are powerfully shaping the minds of young people, adults need to join them more often in their world, and discover TOGETHER those parts of the Internet which provide powerful and/or entertaining ways to examine ideas, questions, etc. In that way we can find ways to learn together and to teach indirectly rather than lecturing. Should we be teaching money management? For Pete's sake, of course! Money really is your friend, we should tell them, but you can't ever afford to ignore the friendship.

 

We have developed a culture of entitlement which has crippled many people of all ages. Everyone is SUPPOSED to have everything, except it has to be the newer version that the neighbors don't yet have. Where is the reality base of "starting at the bottom" that previous generations were taught? One young person commented recently that "I shouldn't have to work for only $7 an hour." (without any experience and not yet having a diploma)

 

Should young people include some form of self-employment in the plans? I would say yes, if at all possible. We are currently experiencing a very fragmented situation with the economy, the currency, etc., and it seems that government cannot come up with a coherent action plan to deal with it. You need to be prepared to stand up and to know as an individual what your talents really are, regardless of who you work for. You can then be more prepared to actually work for YOURSELF as a plan A, B or C. That might be the most dangerous, but at least you'll be best friends with the one in the driver's seat.

 

 

TO KNOW THE DRIVER EVEN BETTER, KNOW YOUR KOLBE M.O.!! The Kolbe Index equips you with the best map of your inborn talents so you can navigate your education and career WITHOUT THE BLINDFOLD ON AND YOUR FINGERS CROSSED. DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT!! Call Dr. Pam to get a free phone consultation. She can be reached at 443-742-6038 or leave a voice mail at 410-995-0760.